Winning As Deodorant

Notebook From Dallas 103, Clippers 90

Mike Fisher -- DB.com

Mavs 103, Clippers 90, and quick takes on The 75-Member Staff’s relationship with Pacman Jones, the Mavs’ involvement with “Little Miss Sunshine,’’ the Dirk-less roster “stepping up,’’ Nowitzki as a play-by-play man, the coming end to the “blogger ban,’’ and Avery’s birthday:

MEETING PACMAN: So Pacman Jones is in town getting career counseling from Michael Irvin. (For the scoop, see below.) And around 6 p.m., he’s preparing to leave town. … but then it strikes him that he might as well take in a Mavs game. The 75-Member Staff – with tentacles everywhere – gets the phone call from one of Pacman’s fellas, looking for tickets. And next thing you know, Pacman is sitting on the front row.

Consider that our contribution to the Cowboys’ pursuit of Pacman – hey, at least we kept him out of the strip clubs for three hours – but I’m tempering my excitement just a bit. Why?

Dude hasn’t changed much.

My amateur diagnosis of the diminutive, gifted, troubled Pacman: He’s an addict. No, not drugs. Sex. Or women. Or action. Something like that. Not unlike Irvin – who never had a substance abuse problem but did have an addiction nevertheless – Pacman seems to be to be an unfortunate combination of arrogance and ignorance.

He told Irvin during his radio-show appearance that he was done with strip clubs. Kinda.

“I can’t say never ever,” Jones said. “But not in the next couple three years.”

Or next couple three days? For a minute there, Pacman was reportedly scheduled to be in Atlanta this weekend for an appearance. … at a “make-it-rain’’ party. Turns out, it’s some sort of goof-up, and apologies are due Pacman.

Still, on this business trip to Dallas, when he decided to cap the visit by coming to the Mavs game, he needed five tickets – because two ladies were part of his group. That’s not illegal or immoral, it’s just. … well, it’s bad business.

 Arrogance and ignorance. And addiction of a sort. I’m in favor of rolling the dice on Dallas acquiring Pacman Jones, but my experience tells me this is a dangerous combination.

NOW TO BASKETBALL: It’s a goofy cliché, of course, this “stepping up.’’ I mean, if guys are capable of “stepping up’’ in the absence of somebody like Dirk, well, why didn’t they also “step up’’ while Dirk was on the court?

Nevertheless, the pure numbers of “stepping up’’ as Dirk nursed his leg injuries during the Clippers game (instead taking a turn as the TV play-by-play man) fit quite neatly.

Dallas loses about 24 points per game with Dirk in street clothes. So what happens last night? J-Ho, who averages 19.6, scored 32. That’s an additional 12 points. And Damp, who averages 6.1, scored 19 (to go along with his 17 boards). That’s an additional 13.

Add Josh’s additional 12 with Damp’s additional 13 and you equal Dirk’s missing 24. Said J-Ho: "If everybody goes up four or five points, that'll cover it.''

That's one way to do it. Another way is to have two guys "go up'' 24 points.

THE ODDSMAKERS: Am I right in remembering that Dallas was favored by 13 here? Those SOBs – the oddsmakers, I mean, not the Mavs – really do know things, don’t they?

DIRK’S PLAY-BY-PLAY: I didn’t hear it. I kind of saw it. But the reviews are in on Dirk Nowitzki’s work pitching in with Mark Followill as a TV announcer, and … he’s funny!

Of course, you already knew that. But the rest of the world did not.

Now, upon seeing a Clipper leave a shot just shy of the rim, Dirk yelling “short bus!’’ might not be PC. But funny? Yessir.

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE: ABC apparently thinks the Mavs are going to make the playoffs. As proof, I give you the TV crew sent to town last week to film some promos.

How many film guys came? Um, 45 of them. Who led the crew? Jonathan Dayton, who happens to be the director of the Oscar-nominated “Little Miss Sunshine.’’

ABC apparently doesn’t have a tight budget.

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: “Winning is a great deodorant.’’ – Jason Kidd.

MY MASOCHISM: Dallas vs. Denver vs. Golden State. Maybe I’m a sick puppy, but I love this.

THE BLOGGER BAN: A solution – or a compromise, or an edict, or whatever you want to call it – is coming. And in the end, Tim MacMahon of the DMNews will get his access. Watch and see.

At the same time, some truth about the true genesis of the conflict between Cuban and the DMNews is coming, too. Watch and see.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AVERY: Make fun of the fact that it was “just the Clippers,’’ if you wish. But a win was the best available present for the 43-year-old coach.

1111am march 26 2008